New Beginning Exercise, Part I

We are revising a weak beginning to a story, using the six methods learned:
•Begin at the Beginning
•Dialogue: A Character or Characters Speaking
•Action: A Main Character Doing Something
•Reaction: A Character Thinking
•Dramatic Statement
•Begin at the End


Lucy's house was pretty bad. It made her family unhappy to live there.

"I think it's time for us to move," said her dad.

One day, they all moved to a brand-new place. It was a lot different from their old house..

1. I want to tell you the story of where I grew up and why we were so unhappy there...until one day, when we moved.

Our house sat in the very middle the bad part of town. Most of the neighbors parked their cars (working or not) on the lawn. The sidewalks all needed to be fixed, broken cracks always tripped my brother and me when we walked to school; the road was filled with pot holes; and, most of the trees had either been cut down for firewood or been butchered by the only "tree-topping" company in town. Stay away from my trees, I always thought.

My dad lost his job when the mill shut down; and my mom surely wasn't happy working as a receptionist for a second rate small engine mechanic.

"I think its time for us to move," my dad announced one day. And we left.

My parents never could save much money, but they had saved a little. They put a down payment on a small house in a small town a few miles away. I was sad to leave my friends and my schoolmates, but the adventure of a new town, and the pride at living a beautiful little house in a pretty little town made the move one of the happiest memories in from my childhood.

2. "Why do we have to live in such a crappy house?" I yelled. "I hate where we live, and I hate the people who live around here." I scowled at my father.

I could tell that I had stepped over a line, but I didn't care. I expected my father to slap me, or at least send me away, but he just hung his head.

"You're right. I think its time to move," he said. I had never seen him so sad.

I started to cry, though I didn't know why. I felt like I had seen something that I wasn't meant to see. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself, a piece of my innocence. I never got that back.

"I'm sorry," I said lamely. What could I do?

"I lost my job at the mill," he said. "I was 'downsized'." He sat at the table, resting his head in his hands.

I felt my mother walk in. I trembled.

"It will work out. It always does," she said.

I breathed a sigh and the tears flowed again. We were leaving this horrible place, going to make a new start. A fresh start.

3. I put another toy in another box. I hadn't played with this car for many years, but I needed to keep it, to take it with me, never the less. A tear tried to escape down my cheek, but I brushed it away and pushed it down inside. I had determined that I would not cry again. This house is not a good house, I thought. No one is happy here.

I threw the last of the toys into the box and slammed the lid down. Out the window, the sun set and the street lights came on. As dusk fell, a muted beauty fell over the neighborhood: if you couldn't see the cars parked on the lawn, you didn't have to think about them. I picked up the box and headed downstairs. My mom sat at the kitchen table in her old blue house dress. My father busied himself in the living room, packing away memories, good and bad, making ready for the move.

I put my hand on my mother's shoulder. She put her hand on mine and vaguely smiled as she straightened up.

"Well," she said. "It is time for us to move. Are you all packed?"

I tried to smile, but it was hard to leave the house in which I had lived for all my life. Good or bad, all I knew is that it was home. "Yes," is all I said to her. We are moving on to a better life, I tried to convince myself. A better life in a better house awaits. And off we went.